Hi, blog! Long time no see again. I've had less and less use of you, but thank you for existing anyway. Not sure if this will be my final post on you, maybe there is something more to write about in the future, but at this moment I cannot really think of anything more.
For many years now I've been counting big moments of life in three. Three years of "gymnasiet". Three years in Japan. Three years at university of Gothenburg. Well that ends now, I no longer have much of a reason to count things in three. I did get a job, but who knows if I will stay there three years? Maybe I will stay much longer, maybe much shorter, only time will tell.
I guess, what I am trying to say is, that it's no longer that easy to see the future. I am not stuck in some 3 year committment anymore, and thus I am more free to pack up and leave and go whereever I want at any time. This is a good feeling. But it's weird too, because I do not know where I will be in three years anymore.
When deciding to go back to Sweden and go to university of Gothenburg, and to the SEM programme, I had a few ideas of how it might be like during these years but there were many things I could not predict. At the beginning of the year I was sure I was going to apply for a masters directly afterwards, and go abroad again, hopefully learn yet another language. But instead I am not, 3 years later, sitting here dreaming about owning a little house with a nice view and exploring the beautiful nature of Sweden instead. At this point in time I do not want to apply for a masters, and I don't even feel the need to live aborad again. It was a great experience, but why leave if I like it here right now?
But what I've learned through all these years is that wants and needs change, so you can only go with what you think you want and need in this moment, and then if it turns out you were wrong, you make a change in the future. It might be difficult once you realize your priorities change, and you now have a new goal, and you are not really sure how to get there, but you will get there. It will all be fine in the end. Just take your time.
These past three years have been mostly good, and I have basically graduated, which is nice, and I did well during my time in university. Did not fail one single exam, because I was so afraid that if I failed one I would just lag behind and fail the rest of them too. I do often think of possible problems that might occur with everything. The pessimist does not sleep, even though I wish it would.
In Sweden, graduating university is not a big deal, it seems. When I graduated from high school it was a big deal, not just at school but at home too, we had a nice little get together and I got some gifts and stuff. Maybe because graduating high school is also a kind of rite of passage into adulthood, like, now you're 18 (or 19) so you are grown! You need to move out and thus people give you gifts that you can use as an adult in your own future home. But when you graduate from university (is this actually the correct term?), you have probably already lived on your own for a few years, and getting a party together is not as much of a priority for people.
I am not mentioning this because I want a party or anything, it just feels weird to me how the end of these 3 years of higher education are over and yet it does not feel properly over, because the day it's over is just another day like any other. At this point I don't even know if we will have a ceremony at school because of Corona, if there is a ceremony (even an online one), they haven't even told us about it!
But, there is at least something to signify that I am done with university (for the most part): I have moved out from my old place where I lived with 2 room-mates, and I am now staying in my own place. And because of this, I finally got the chance to get a cat, and so I did. She is still young, so not with me yet, but I will go pick her up in July.
I honestly planned on not getting a cat for at least a few more years, but as soon as I moved out I just realized that I don't want to wait anymore when I have the chance right now. In Japan I wanted a cat so badly but couldn't, but here in Sweden I am not as restricted. As long as I have my own place I can have a pet. So, it's kind of like a graduation gift for myself, I suppose, that's how I see it at least.
Can't wait to start a new chapter in life with a new family member who will hopefully be a part of my future for a very long time! :) Good bye!
