I got back to Japan a while ago now and when I did not feel any happiness about being back initially. It would have been better to have started school just the day after because then I could get back into things. But as we had planned it I had a few days "to rest" before school started, which had sounded like a good idea but maybe it wasn't.
I never felt home sick like this before. I got through a year in Japan without feeling home sick. But coming back home and having to leave after a mere month just took a toll on me. I felt like since I now had spent 1.5 years in Japan I wanted to atleast spend that much time at home. But that's impossible!
Leaving home and coming back to a place where you do not want to be at the moment is hard. And the parents that were just there to hug you are now just a moving picture on the computer screen again. For a few days it felt unreal.
After this school started and I could only go one day before I got sick and I had to skip school for 3 days.
I have never been sick like this before, and I had to go to the doctor just because I didn't know what it was and I've never had this "sickness" before.
Anyway, it started Tuesday and I went to the doctor and got pills on Thursday. I got pills for a total of four days so on Sunday I took the last of them and even by then it (the "sickness") wasn't totally gone. Still, I went to school on Monday and by Tuesday it seemed to be completely gone.
So yea, since coming back to Japan I haven't had the best of times but atleast now I'm not sick anymore and the homesickness has toned itself down. I still feel like I wanna go home as soon as possible, but I am pretty sure it will change after a while because I have felt before that I would in fact like to stay here longer than the 1.5 years I have left.
I'm just confused about my feelings and what I want. Also, even though I want to go home and I am thinking about going during the winter holiday, I am afraid that if I go back I will have to feel all of this home sickness all over again. And I really don't want that.
Hang on..We're here for you sweetheart:) Another new beginning is always difficult, since our feeling has already clinged tightly then all has to ended up in a moment, turned into something new...I truly understand how you feel, for I always share the same feeling every time I go into another place..
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