Graduating university

Hi, blog! Long time no see again. I've had less and less use of you, but thank you for existing anyway. Not sure if this will be my final post on you, maybe there is something more to write about in the future, but at this moment I cannot really think of anything more.

For many years now I've been counting big moments of life in three. Three years of "gymnasiet". Three years in Japan. Three years at university of Gothenburg. Well that ends now, I no longer have much of a reason to count things in three. I did get a job, but who knows if I will stay there three years? Maybe I will stay much longer, maybe much shorter, only time will tell.

I guess, what I am trying to say is, that it's no longer that easy to see the future. I am not stuck in some 3 year committment anymore, and thus I am more free to pack up and leave and go whereever I want at any time. This is a good feeling. But it's weird too, because I do not know where I will be in three years anymore.

When deciding to go back to Sweden and go to university of Gothenburg, and to the SEM programme, I had a few ideas of how it might be like during these years but there were many things I could not predict. At the beginning of the year I was sure I was going to apply for a masters directly afterwards, and go abroad again, hopefully learn yet another language. But instead I am not, 3 years later, sitting here dreaming about owning a little house with a nice view and exploring the beautiful nature of Sweden instead. At this point in time I do not want to apply for a masters, and I don't even feel the need to live aborad again. It was a great experience, but why leave if I like it here right now?

But what I've learned through all these years is that wants and needs change, so you can only go with what you think you want and need in this moment, and then if it turns out you were wrong, you make a change in the future. It might be difficult once you realize your priorities change, and you now have a new goal, and you are not really sure how to get there, but you will get there. It will all be fine in the end. Just take your time.

These past three years have been mostly good, and I have basically graduated, which is nice, and I did well during my time in university. Did not fail one single exam, because I was so afraid that if I failed one I would just lag behind and fail the rest of them too. I do often think of possible problems that might occur with everything. The pessimist does not sleep, even though I wish it would.

In Sweden, graduating university is not a big deal, it seems. When I graduated from high school it was a big deal, not just at school but at home too, we had a nice little get together and I got some gifts and stuff. Maybe because graduating high school is also a kind of rite of passage into adulthood, like, now you're 18 (or 19) so you are grown! You need to move out and thus people give you gifts that you can use as an adult in your own future home. But when you graduate from university (is this actually the correct term?), you have probably already lived on your own for a few years, and getting a party together is not as much of a priority for people.

I am not mentioning this because I want a party or anything, it just feels weird to me how the end of these 3 years of higher education are over and yet it does not feel properly over, because the day it's over is just another day like any other. At this point I don't even know if we will have a ceremony at school because of Corona, if there is a ceremony (even an online one), they haven't even told us about it!

But, there is at least something to signify that I am done with university (for the most part): I have moved out from my old place where I lived with 2 room-mates, and I am now staying in my own place. And because of this, I finally got the chance to get a cat, and so I did. She is still young, so not with me yet, but I will go pick her up in July.

I honestly planned on not getting a cat for at least a few more years, but as soon as I moved out I just realized that I don't want to wait anymore when I have the chance right now. In Japan I wanted a cat so badly but couldn't, but here in Sweden I am not as restricted. As long as I have my own place I can have a pet. So, it's kind of like a graduation gift for myself, I suppose, that's how I see it at least.

Can't wait to start a new chapter in life with a new family member who will hopefully be a part of my future for a very long time! :) Good bye!

3 years since I left Japan

April fools day was a good day to return to Sweden, it makes it so easy to remember when it's been yet another year since I returned from Japan! So now it's been 3 years, and it's finally the year 2020, the year I graduate from university!

How can this year have felt so far away for such a long time and then the next minute I am suddenly here, wondering what happened to the time inbetween? Not much has happened! These 3 years have been a lot less eventful than my 3 years in Japan. In Japan I would see many more things, travel to more places, eat at different restaurants and cafés. Here in Sweden I have barely traveled, haven't been to a lot of restaurants or cafés in Gothenburg either...

But at least now I can say that I have a favourite café and restaurant in Gothenburg, it just took a long time before it happened. The best restaurant is called "Spanska köket" (The spanish kitchen), and my favourite café so far is "Café Sirius". I still have a lot to explore though, and hopefully I will get the chance to do that! With corona around though, I cannot be certain.

Like I have stated before, I have not completely liked my university program "Software Engineering and Management", it has a lot of potential but needs to get a grip, haha. I don't know how to explain it, but they need better and more organized teachers for many of the courses.

However, this third year of SEM has (unlike the other years) been really chill for me. The first semester I took a bunch of online courses in programming and design and the likes, it was a lot of fun! After that our remaining courses have not had any written exam, just assignments to hand in, and it's been pretty easy to get by and still keep up the grades! I am very suprised about this! In a good way of course, haha, it's been good to take things easy.

After much struggle and annoyance I was able to find a job even before graduating (and before all of this corona stuff, which I am sure makes it more difficult since you can't meet as easily), which is good because it allows me more room to plan things.

I have also found a place to live, since I have to move soon. This place may not be long term, but maybe I will find a more long term place later though, we will see if I can make things work or not. It's just good for now to have some kind of certainty of where I am going from here. There was a while when I wasn't sure if I even wanted to stay in Gothenburg even for just a year or two longer, but I decided to stick it out. There are more fun jobs in the big city, and I want to see what it's like to work here. Can't say I am super excited though, because I am a person that worries a lot, so of course right now there are so many things to worry about for me and that kind of takes away a lot of the excitement of new things happening.

But as long as I can find a stable place to live, and I get hired for real after the 6 month "trial-hire period" is over (I don't remember what it's called in English, haha) I should be fine.

Why, Corona? Why?

As many may know, Japan is taking the Corona outbreak quite seriously and have recently closed their borders to a lot of countries for a while. This is just perfect timing for the upcoming MEXT students I am sure, haha, they must be thrilled! I am still in a MEXT-scholarship group on Facebook so I often see people writing about Corona and how they don't know how they will be impacted. This is the time when people are supposed to be coming to Japan to be greeted at the airport but I wonder if everyone was able to arrive safely or if the borders closed before that happened? And if they can't get to Japan now, will they get to go later instead? It's intimidating enough without corona to go to a completely new country to stay for the next 3-5 years or more, so it must suck for the international students affected by this.

There is actually a package in Japan that was supposed to come for me, I've paid a lot of money for it, but I think it was all in vain now, since its been stuck at a Tokyo post office for 2 weeks now and it may be there for a lot longer. Long enough to be forgotten or misplaced by someone. So I think that is probably money down the drain. That's the small way I am affected by the situation in Japan, haha. Do not send packages in the middle of a pandemic!

I've been talking to my friends in Japan, things are fine mostly, some are worried and some aren't. Groceries and toilet paper are sometimes still hard to find in some stores apparently (there was a warning about a complete Tokyo shutdown or something a while ago which spooked people). At least in Japan people are more likely to use masks than here in Sweden, which is probably good for them, bad for us. In my opinion Sweden should make it mandatory to wear a mask when going out (or at least when in train or bus or w.e), like some other countries have. If everyone has to wear a mask it wont be awkward anymore! You wont seem like the worried freak, haha.

For me, I had to make a trip to my hometown a while ago but since coming back I have been staying at home almost every day. I stocked up on a little more food so that I don't have to take a trip to the grocery store as much as I usually do. When I "had" to buy some material things I ordered them online instead of going to the store, even though I really want to go to stores. I just want to go anywhere that is not here in this apartment, in this area. But I feel like every time I am on the bus, some person is there coughing and that isn't great. Being sick it not something I like, and in the middle of my bachelors thesis, getting sick may mean I don't get to graduate on time, so I am trying to be careful.

Being home as much as I am I will probably be fine, but I am worried about my parents who do not seem to care a lot about corona, and they can't work from home that much, so they will be more in contact with people. Hope they are careful.

So what am I doing to stay sane during corona? Not much, really. So far I've done basically nothing, working on the thesis, sure, but apart from that I have been procrastinating a lot. I want to prepare for my job which will start in like 2 months now, but when I think about doing anything productive I just shut down. It's hard to get into it when you haven't had to do anything for quite a while. But I have to try. Trying is all I can do.

Finding a job in Sweden

It is that time of the year again! The time when I remember my blog and feel like writing something down once more!

As I all know, I was not looking forward to these last 6 months of university for a long time. But as it turns out, half of it was fine. We had 2 more "normal courses" and though they had their ups and downs I did not mind them and it was fun being back in school and meeting some friends again.

It was different coming back now though, so many people are not even bothering showing up to class anymore and it kind of helps me see why so few people are graduating this program every year, haha.

Anyway, down to the real reason why I am here: I got a job.

Searching for a job was a real pain in the a**, but I still feel like I came out on the other side quite quickly and unscathed, because I was expecting more months of this searching. Just a few days ago I made a plan for how to prepare for more coding tests and interviews, not knowing what skills or languages to focus on since there are so many different ones out there.

It all started with my finding out that people in my class had already started looking for jobs. This made me feel like I had to do the same, so mid January I sent out a bunch of applications to different jobs that seemed interesting to me. Many people called me back quite quickly and for a while there I had to go to so many interviews (in my opinion), that I felt like I had taken on too much at once and felt exhausted. But a lot of this stuff died down pretty quickly and I still had no job offers, so I was pretty much just waiting around, thinking I will apply for more jobs later on.

About a month or two later I applied for a few more but have gotten no answers from them so far. But I guess that doesnt matter any more, since I got offered a position quite quickly.

A recruiter set me up with a guy this Tuesday, we had a good interview, then he called me on Thursday and we talked a little more, and then on Friday they offered me the position and I took it.

That is very cool and all, and I feel like this will be a great place to work! However, this post is about the job searching process if anything. So here goes:

As a responsible adult, the first thing I did when I started to apply for jobs was to go out and buy some business casual attire to wear for interviews. Even I can't justify going to a job interview in a Legend of Zelda hoodie and my dirty broken Nike shoes. Even just wearing business casual still feels like dress-up to me though, I am not used to it, it doesn't feel like me.

Then I tried to prepare for the interviews, there are some normal non-programming related interview questions online that are commonly asked. Questions I got asked a lot were: "How do you work in a team/What role do you take in a team?", "How would people describe you?", "What are your best and worst qualities?", "Do you have any personal projects you are working on?", "Tell us about a project in school, what was difficult?" and so on.

In order to have some coding projects to show people at different companies I started working more on my writing website (made it look presentable) and made it public on GitHub. I also added another project in another language just in case.

I was afraid that everyone would ask technical questions, but most interviews were just about personality, background, school, etc. Then instead of being asked questions on spot about different programming langauges or skills, I would get sent an online coding test instead. This seems to be the norm at least now.

Most of these coding tests were not timed, but some were and I do not really get that, but that's another story. So for maybe 5 weeks in a row my weekends were largely spent on doing these code tests and I got pretty tired of them. Many days also working on my own website or websites it felt like a lot of work for not a lot of feedback from companies.

Of all the interviews I went to only one made me feel bad afterwards, most people were very nice.

I suppose the worst thing about search for a job for me was the uncertainty of everything, never really knowing if I knew enough or if I should study some other subject or just stick to what I already know. That's why I tried to make a list of what to study first, interview questions for Javascript or interview questions for Java? Backend or frontend questions? Algorithms or datastructures? Do I know enough or do I not? This whole process just really took a toll on my self esteem. Glad it's over for now.

Okay, this post does not have a lot of direction, but I'm going to end it here, because it's time to face the next struggle: Where the hell am I supposed to live in a few months?

First post of 2020!

Hello 2020! How not nice to finally meet you!

This is a year I am not looking forward to (though maybe I should).

The first 6 months will consist of the last of my university life, yea, it's weird that it's ending all of a sudden! I cannot wait for it to be over, even though I have enjoyed my time here, there is just so much that I hoped for with this university programme that just didn't happen. I still think the quality of it is low, and as I have probably said before: If I had been younger I would have switched to another programme, but within the same field of programming, because that is still very much fun.

So, for 2.5 years now I have been dreading the unevitable bachelor's thesis because I am just not interested, to me it feels like a waste of time and just dreadfully boring! But now I actually have to accept that the time is almost here and I have to try to put my negative feelings aside and pull through these lat 6 months of school. The bachelors thesis is technically only taking place during a 3 month period but we are allowed to start a lot sooner, which many people will, also writing the proposal will start in January as well.

Okay, let's say I make it through these next six months (that I imagine will feel like hell after these very fun and relaxed 6+ months I have had so far, haha) which I will because it might even be better than I am expecting, I am a pessimist after all and I don't want my negative emotions about something that has already happened make the thing that will happen actually become negative once it does happen? Get it? ... I just wish I had more of an open mind about these upcoming 6 months, and I will try to.. soon! Anyway, after these 6 months of possible hell, I will then suddenly have to: move out, try to find a new apartment or place to stay, try to find a job, try to decide whether to stay in Gothenburg or not! It feels like a mess.

I kind of want to stay in Gothenburg still, at least for 1-3 years, BUT the plan I had for doing this kind of failed. Seems like I might not be able to share an apartment with friends anymore, since they might want to live alone, and in that case I would have to find an apartment alone. Buuut that's not easy to do here unless you can afford a rent of 11000-17000 kr a month! Which I cant, of course.So if I am to live in Gothenburg alone I almost certainly have to live in one room in someone elses apartment "inneboende" as it's called. So it's not really alone, at all. It's not how I imagine my life as a grown-up.

Maybe I will still go for it, maybe I will try sharing an apartment with some random person for a while. But I don't want to. The price for a room in Gothenburg can be as much as 6000 kr (most common is 5000kr) which is pretty much more than the person renting the place pays in rent each month. It feels like a big scam. But what other choice is there if you want to live in Gothenburg in this day n age?

So in the end I might leave Gothenburg, honestly I still haven't made up my mind yet. But I could leave, wait a few more years (maybe 10) until I have a shit ton of queue points on boplats.se and then rent a great apartment there are work there for a few years like I wanted to, just for fun. Then again, by that time there might be other reasons why this wouldn't be possible.
I have some idea where to go if I leave Gothenburg though, so I just need to make up my mind, which I think is going to take a while because I really thought I would work here after I finished school. Now I am not sure, and it's messing up the plan. The thing that makes me even less capable of making a decision though is the fact that I might not even find my own place to live even if I choose to live outside of Gothenburg. Maybe I move and I still end up living in a shared apartment with some rando? What to do..

2020 will be full of questioning of my decisions, that's what I feel!