Hello there, blog!
I've been in Sweden for over a month now and time has been moving so fast, it's quite hard to understand.
During this time I have been applying to a lot of summer-jobs (which are easy jobs aimed at people, mostly students, who haven't finished their education and who want to work for a few months during the summer when all the adults have their vacation time). I even began to apply while I was in Japan and I thought that as soon as I came back to Sweden I would get calls to come to interviews (because you don't really need any credentials for most summer-jobs). But now I've applied to over 20 jobs and they've all said no.
I still remember the e-mail I got basically telling me I wasn't qualified enough to work as a dishwasher...
Thing is, I thought I would be fine not having a job this summer, as long as I could get one the next. But recently I found out that I have to dash out almost 50.000 yen to get my shipment from Japan! The shipment that I already paid almost 90.000 yen to ship!! Everyone just wants their piece of my money and now that I got no income again, it really stings.
So if I do not get a job this summer I am actually pretty screwed. It will work out some how, but hopefully I can find a job and wont have to worry about this any longer.
Well, that's enough about my money problems. Most things are good here. I got to go scootering and slaloming in the middle of April (didn't know that was possible, but in some places it is). And I have been quite diligently writing books again.
I have been writing books for a long time. In my early teens I wrote a rip-off of Harry Potter as well as Avatar The Last Airbender - all mixed up in one novel of about 120.000 words! WTF!
If you didn't know (I didn't), 120k words is considered to be too long and you probably wont get your first book published if it is that long. So this is just a huge load of bull that I wrote. It was so long ago that I don't even remember what happens in the book, and what kinda plot it had that took that long to resolve.
The reason why it got that long though is because I didn't count words, but pages. I figured half an A4 page is about the size of a page in a book. And a fantasy novel is usually around 350 book-sized pages. So if I write 180 pages I have myself a novel! Wrong! Counting words is what you should be doing, and is what I am finally doing now. Cheers!
So now I am once again on the task of rewriting a book I wrote in upper secondary high school. It was hard to start writing again, because my confidence was really, super low. I felt like I would never become a good writer, and that there is no reason in trying. So for the longest time, over three years(!), I didn't try. I tried writing some in Japan but the feeling of hopelessness just kept coming over me, the feeling that I will never get good at this and never become a real writer.
It's hard to push past a feeling like that, but one of my friends reminded me of the fact that I have to work for what I want, and that I shouldn't give up. Maybe she's the reason I am finally writing again. Thank you for that! ;)
So after coming back to Sweden I did start writing, seriously this time, not just a mere 300-500 words a day, but around 2000 words a day. And it only took writing a couple of chapters and comparing them with my old work, for me to realize that I have improved and will keep on improving. So far I haven't gotten stuck once, and every time I sit down to write I feel excited.
I know I can write a novel, because I've done it before, three times. Maybe these previous novels were shit, and maybe the one I am writing now will also be shit, but at least I know I can make it happen.
Still, when I look up publishers and such or read about the grim reality of getting published, I still feel like it will never happen for me. And I guess that's a feeling that stops a lot of people from achieving their dream. Trying is as good as anything, and fear shouldn't stop you. I hope it doesn't stop me.
Oh, yea. What a super long post about something I may be the only person interested in! But I had to get it off my chest, and now I can move on, because I have to leave my laptop and move to the kitchen go do the dishes!
I will see you around!
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